Performance Poetry is just a Descriptive Term Paper
My Descriptive Term Paper Gave Me Back My Life.
My brother always told me that I am a dreamer. I don’t live in reality he says. It always made me feel bad. I felt as though he thought I was would never amount to anything but just aimlessly go through life. He never encouraged me and really did make me feel like less of a person. I really felt like an outsider as I grew up. I spent a lot of time in my room writing. It was the only outlet I really had. I didn’t have a boyfriend or get out too much but I was always a good writer. I used to write term papers for my classmates and get paid really well for it. I was crying in the linen closet one afternoon at school when my friend, Michael found me and asked what was wrong. I told him I was having a hard time at home. He invited me to go to a poetry slam that evening. I went and I thought it was pretty cool. Michael’s words flew out of his mouth in this really dynamic way. He hit certain notes- highs and lows with words and it was just fun and methodical. He asked me if I wanted to try it. I told Michael there was no way I could ever get up there. He knew I wrote research papers for people at school and said performance poetry is just a descriptive term paper.
I didn’t buy his idea for a descriptive term paper. But I really wanted to try and write a poem. Poems were never my thing. I was always a prose kind of girl. I really wanted to try it. I couldn’t kick the idea of stories. Everything I wrote sounded like a story. I was just too wordy. I sort of figured out that unlike a college term paper I didn’t need to be so detailed. I need to be concise and quick. I needed to find words that would pop and jar thoughts and memories for people. I commanded it to be fun, exciting and interesting. Not informative.
I start doing critical analysis research on performance poetry. There was such a growing demand for it. There were many venues where it was taking place. I got some really good ideas for my descriptive term paper. I realized I just had to be fun and uninhibited. There were some voice tricks I was able to play around with that made my words really pop. Michael took me to a couple of venues where I watched different kinds of people of all ages and cultures go at it. He even got up there a couple more times to show me that there was really nothing to worry about.
The next weekend I told Michael I thought I would be ready for a poetry slam. He was really surprised and asked if I wanted him to read my descriptive term paper prior to me performing it. I didn’t think it was a good idea. Mainly because my poem was about him. The past month Michael and I had gone from casual school acquaintances to really good friends. I felt like he gave me my life back. That I was no longer a loner and I was really starting to have some strong feelings for him. Watching him perform was quite attractive. He look so confident and strong. I hoped I would look the same way.
That morning as I to wrote a research paper for one of my friends I thought about how Michael would receive me. He never made a romantic gesture towards me. He had never held my hand or talked to me about anything too personal. I thought I would at least try out my descriptive term paper and see how it went. That evening I was on stage for the first time ever. I felt my heart beating in my throat. The lights were so warm but everyone seemed cool and encouraging. I began to poor out my heart to Michael. I talked about how a really good friend saved me. How I had really fallen for him and how I hoped to be more than friends. I don’t know how good I sounded but I did get some strong applause. And a “whoop” from Michael. It turned out Michael did not feel the way I felt about him. Not yet at least. Although I was still glad to put my feelings out there with my descriptive term paper. And really happy to have a life again.
